I'd be interested in a proper discussion about different ideas of a nice birthday, including the small details people tend to leave out. How do you find out what someone likes without spoiling the surprise? People have different ways of communicating, so please explain what works for you without assuming it suits every relationship. How would you express the preference kindly? Leave out private messages or identifying details about a partner. If you disagree with a suggestion, explain what you would do instead and why.